Intentional Walk: November 2005

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Prodigal Son: Redux

"One of the greatest challenges of the spiritual life is to receive God's forgiveness. There is something in us humans that keeps us clinging to our sins and prevents us from letting God erase our past and offer us a completely new beginning. Sometimes it even seems as though I want to prove to God that my darkness is too great to overcome. While God wants to restore me to the full dignity of sonship, I keep insisting that I will settle for being a hired servant. But do I truly want to be so totally forgiven that a completely new way of living becomes possible? Do I trust myself and such a radical reclamation? Do I want to break away from my deep-rooted rebellion against God and surrender myself so absolutely to God's love that a new person can emerge? Receiving forgiveness requires a total willingness to let God be God and do all the healing, restoring, and renewing. As long as I want to do even a part of that myself, I end up with partial solutions, such as becoming a hired servant. As a hired servant, I can still keep my distance, still revolt, reject, strike, run away, or complain about my pay. As the beloved son, I have to claim my full dignity and begin preparing myself to become the father."

Henri Nouwen's "The Return of the Prodigal Son" is many things. It is a study of a single painting that became an obsession. It is a journal of one man's continuing self-discovery. It is a dissection of one of the greatest parables. And it is a suggestion of how to glorify God by simply becoming a better person. The concept is easy. The execution less so.

Nouwen's journey begins with an identification with the younger son: the abject, penniless, weary, tattered, kneeling figure in the foreground of the painting. He relates his similarity to this man and implicitly drives home how similar we all are to him. Early on, he makes a point I had never considered; that when he requested his inheritance from his father, the prodigal son was saying in effect, "I wish you were dead." Do we ever wish that God didn't exist, that we could do whatever we wanted without the accompanying guilt? If so, then we begin to understand what the father felt who so joyously welcomed his son home.

In one of my favorite passages (above), Nouwen gets into the mind of the prodigal. He reasons why he was not just content to come back as a hired hand, but perhaps in favor of. The hired hand, doesn't need total forgiveness, nor the responsibility that comes with it. He has no accountability and no more duty than his own job requires. He doesn't have to become, he merely has to be.

I read this book during my own study of discipleship and each chapter returned me to the same thought. It's not enough to admit our sin and turn around. It's not enough to come home and allow our Father to embrace us again. It's not even enough to accept forgiveness and repent. It is required of us that we aspire to what the Father is, that we allow ourselves to be discipled, that we train. There is no such thing as a Christian who is not a disciple.

Are you willing to let God be God?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Pedagogy

When I was in school, there were plenty of times that I was doing work on those old, purple mimeographed papers. Overhead projectors were becoming common by the time I was in Junior High (we didn't have "Middle School" yet...we were still in the 3 yr. Jr. High/3 yr. High School system). In 9th grade, my math teacher brought a TRS-80 into his classroom and the software for it was contained on a cassette tape. The X-Wing fighter on a Star Wars game was just that: a capital "X". Whoooooo....graphics! Movies were shown by projector and grades were kept by hand in gradebooks. By the time I was in high school, everybody had a calculator and there were rumors about graphing calculators on the horizon.

I've had some questions about what one does with a smart classroom aside from showing Episode III and so I continue to postpone the Prodigal Son series for a bit. The truth is, we are all still learning what to do with the technology we have. And the more we talk about it, the more ideas come, and the more excited all of us education-types get.

Today, my Algebra class listened to Mozart while they worked on their warm up problems. Yesterday, my Calculus class listened to Green Day but that falls into the "showing Episode III" category of extra-curricularness. Classical music, especially baroque, is a great tool in aiding the thinking process. Also, it calms the little buggers down.

I imported some graph paper into a very cool program called Microsoft One Note. This allowed me to write down the warm up problems ahead of time, and graph them on the screen for the students. No more overheads with their annoying high-pitched fan. No more inky fingers at the end of the day. This looks better and has the HUGE advantage of being interesting to the kids. They glom onto technology and even pay attention when it's being used to make them learn. Another bonus is how easy it is to save documents on a computer. I can save something, write all over it in One Note, and then revert to the saved form for the next period. And One Note can import anything...a PDF file, a screen shot, an HTML (internet) document...anything. Oh and how about this? With wireless capability, I can put my PC tablet on a kid's desk and have her work from there.

What about the rest of it? There are lots of math videos, practice tests, etc. available on VHS. More will come on DVD. For now, I'm going to use it to show short clips of things (funny things, math-related things) as an intro or a break in the 95-minute period. For instance, one of the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes of The Simpsons involved Homer walking around on a 3D math grid. It even showed the x-, y-, and z- axes. Pretty cool and a great way of introducing three dimensional graphing.

There's more. I'm still learning and most of you are bored. But the key, for now, is that the students are so into it. Interacting with technology really engages their little brains and will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Plus, y'know, it's cool.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Prodigal Son

A little while ago, I finished Henri Nouwen's "The Return of the Prodigal Son" and intended to record some thoughts. Then a car crashed into my house and life went 90 degrees (that's right).

Does anybody aside from Cecil enjoy my math puns? No? Okay.

Anyway, I'll get to part one today but first an update. We are in the third week of living in a hollowed-out house. The kitchen is gutted and the front room contains a TV, couch, chair, and the kitchen table. The tile is nearly out and we walk mostly on concrete floors. There is plastic covering everything except what we need so much that we've ripped it off. There is a little box of food on the bay window and a partially-stocked fridge. Otherwise we eat out. The good news is, I've had some great restaurant food...particularly that blackened salmon covered in roasted garlic sauce. But the bad news is, it's inconvenient to have to go out for every meal and Lisa is already tired of it. The contractors should start working on the outer wall tomorrow and hopefully we'll be sealed up by the end of the week. It's cold. A functional kitchen is quite a ways off.

Thanksgiving break was nice and restful. We finally rented "Fever Pitch" and now I understand why everyone told me I needed to see it. A math teacher who is obsessed with baseball. Hmmm. It was good, but Jimmy Fallon really can't act. I mean really. We also saw "Harry Potter" and enjoyed it but it is getting harder to believe that those kids are 14. It's sort of like watching "Smallville" and trying to imagine Tom Welling in high school. Yeah, right.

In other news, my smart classroom was installed last week and I now have ceiling-mounted surround sound speakers, a 3000-lumen projector, a VCR/DVD player, and will soon be wirelessly connected to all of that with my PC tablet. As I type, my iPod is hooked up to it (Collective Soul, for those who care) and I'm happily cooking up lesson plans for Microsoft One Note. And since I'm sure somebody will ask, "Star Wars" looks great on it. Sounds good too.

That went on a bit. I'll post the first Nouwen reflection later. Glad everyone enjoyed a safe Thanksgiving. It's funny how safety has become important to Lisa and I. She remarked last night that some things just aren't as big a deal to her anymore. They may be again, but for now we are just grateful for God's protection and perspective.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Pie Night

The night before Thanksgiving, Thurman's, Mangini's, and Henderson's get together for Pie Night. Before partaking of the pie, we all write down on index cards what we are particularly thankful for from the previous year. Sandra reads the cards and then we all try to guess who said what. Usually, I win. Leave it to me to make gratitude a competitive sport.

It's a good tradition, even though I don't like pie. It forces you to put into words what the previous year has meant to you. Certain people are always easy to figure out. My niece is always a tad snide...she's a senior so she comes by that honestly. My nephew is usually thankful for petrol and things that blow up. He's a junior so, ditto. Others are tougher to figure. Lisa's grandma, Sandra's mother-in-law, and our mom are often thankful for the same things: kids, church, and the U. S. of A. For some reason, Sandra's hubby and my wife write remarkably similar things each year. Probably, they're just so grateful to be married to Sandra and I that they sound the same. Yes, I think that makes sense. This year I won again, of course, going a perfect 13 for 13. My brother-in-law, Lex, tied me. Not bad.

First reason I mention all this: This year was very important to me. I was never really able to put into words the reasons for my gratitude. Maybe it's because the ACCIDENT is still so fresh and I'm just so grateful for God's protection over my family. But I truly think it's because this year, for the first time in a loooong time, I feel like God is opening a new door for me...like a new chapter in my life is about to begin. For everybody but a very few, that's probably a cryptic statement and one on which I'm not ready to elaborate just yet. But I will when the time is right. For now, it's just nice to be His instrument, to feel His pleasure, and at the ripe old age of 41, to feel fresh.

The second reason may mean more to you. One of the things I wrote on my little card of thankfulness this year was how glad I am to have new friends. When I wrote that, I meant Greg and Cecil...and even Randy and Brady, who I've known for years but have become friends with through the past months of blogging. I believe that this is a community and a growing one. This is more than just a medium of journaling and daily communication. It is a method of support and mutual prayer. A way to spread how great our God is and how we feel about the ups and downs of His church. This is a way of telling people and reminding each other that there is more to Christianity than right-wing politics, judgmentalism, and rebuke. That primarily we are here to glorify, to love, and to be Jesus to the world. I'm grateful for that. And perhaps the reason I struggled so to write it all down is that there simply aren't words.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

How'd You Become King Then?

"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I'm your king!"

My Monty Python appetite doesn't get fed very often these days. Lisa, like most women, hates it. And Python's no fun if you can't watch it with someone, madly quoting lines as you go.

"Yes, well that's just the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit around on your loathsome, spotty behinds, squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the poor struggling artist."

So, help me out. If you're into it at all...what's your favorite bit, favorite line, favorite skit? I love it all so just bring it: Cheese sketch...Knights who say "Ni!"...The Argument...taunting French knights...The Fish Dance (a personal fave)...The Dead Parrot. I can't narrow it down. Can you?

"Raymond Luxury Yacht?"

"Ah, no, it's spelled 'Luxury Yacht', but it's pronounced Throatwobbler Mangrove."

Sorry, honey. I just need some Python time.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Sheep

The 40 days of prayer for our elders ends Friday. I have the sense that some are worried that no huge revelations are coming. A) that's not necessarily true and B) it's not the point anyway. The fact that we have united in prayer is what really matters. Maybe the guys will all get together (as they did yesterday) and something amazing will happen. Maybe not. But to see the church gathered around them, praying for them, is to know that things will never be the same. At least two of our elders have told me recently that they didn't know...really know...how much people cared. And now they do.

We talked about sheep and shepherds yesterday and it got me thinking about the analogy. Yes, we understand the concept today, but if Jesus were teaching on earth in 2005 I wonder if he still would have used it. In Jerusalem, 2000 years ago, it was the best description possible of both the eldership and the role of the Great Shepherd. But what would it be today and what would it be in the US? What is our equivalent of the relationship between sheep and shepherd?

We live in a culture that eschews the idea of subservience. We don't need anything or anyone and we certainly don't want to be led around or herded. Everything I think is right from my own perspective and everything you think is right from yours. We live in the cradle of post-modernity and are by far the poorer for it. How can I possibly put myself in a right relationship with God when I am Lord and Master of all I survey? How can I possibly understand what it even means to be a sheep, much less the potential joy of it? Who needs a shepherd (or a Shepherd) when they never get lost?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Votes Are In!

I think we could all use a break from talking about my house. So let's talk baseball!

I stumble through November like a drunk coming off a 6-month binge. I stare bleakly into a future that promises nothing but the occasional award and free-agent signing. I fight off the odd facial tic, my hands shake, and I lunge with hope towards every trade rumor. In March, I'm Shoeless Joe Jackson walking out of the cornfield to feel the cool of the grass. In November, I'm Pete Rose, desperate and alone.

Ain't I just full of the similes and metaphors today? Baseball brings that out in me.

Herewith, my terse thoughts and reactions to the crumbs that have fallen from the baseball table this month, otherwise known as the post-season awards.

AL Rookie of the Year: Huston Street
Excellent choice. I could have lived with Cano of the Yankees, but Street's the better choice. I hate the A's even more than the Evil Empire but I can't deny how good these two guys are. Street was a little better and closing out games at the age of 21 gives him the edge.

NL ROY: Ryan Howard
A big, dumb slugger who strikes out a lot. Jeff Francoeur may have been a better choice here, but sportswriters like big, dumb sluggers.

AL Cy Young: Bartolo Colon
Big Bart! It's nice for the Angels to have back-to-back years getting the big awards. Last year, Big Daddy Vladi won the MVP. I'll let you in on a secret though: I would have voted for Mariano Rivera. His ERA was sick. I'll take Colon though.

NL CY: Chris Carpenter
A slam dunk. A no-brainer. So why was it so close?

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez
Another slam dunk. Another close call. I love David Ortiz, but he's a big, dumb slugger. And a DH. A-Rod's numbers were right there and he plays 3rd with a glove of gold. Easy choice.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols
There's nothing not to love about Pujols. He's one of the best hitters I've ever seen. I really thought Andruw Jones (who I hate with the white hot passion of a thousand suns, but only because he's a total hot dog) would win out, he of the 50 home runs. But sportswriters like Pujols better, even though Jones is a terrific outfielder and Pujols is a mediocre infielder. But his average was so much higher that he deserved the MVP.

In other words, they got almost everything right this year. Amazing!

And that's it. A quick fix for my baseball jones. Now if the Angels would get busy and sign Konerko, I'll have something else to satisfy it for a while.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Hey, There's A Car In My House!

Blogger is healthy again! Now you can finally see the awesome spectacle of a car sticking out of my kitchen! This is a gold Toyota Corolla for those of you scoring at home. Isn't it nice to see just how sturdy the outer walls of your house really are?

Here's a summary in case you can't make this all out. That's the sink over there in front of the oven. The dishwasher is clearly visible to the right in front of the pantry. And everything is nicely lit by the headlights of the still-running Corolla. They make 'em sturdy in Japan!

Here's a close-up of the menacing headlight of the fearsome automobile! See the island that has been pushed off it's foundations? We're really glad it was there. Otherwise, the car would have gone straight out the back of the house. What fun! Directly to the right of the beaming headlight is the cabinet that is full of my pintglass collection. Few survived to tell the tale.

All kidding aside, it really sucks when a car slams through your house. I don't recommend it to anyone. Maybe for an encore I'll take some pictures of my poor car so you can see how banged up it is too. And you should see some of the shots Lisa took the next morning looking out through the gaping hole in the wall. It gives a whole new meaning to the term "open house."

Nothing I Own Was Hit By A Car Today

Yet.

Last night we got to sleep in our own beds. James and I were looooving it. I think Lisa was a little freaked out since the last moment we had spent in that bed was a loud one. My sainted mother has been taking care of us since then. Cooking for us, doing laundry, letting us sleep at her house...the truth is that she may have been enjoying it a little. As nice as it is to have someone take care of you, there is nothing like being in your own house. The front of the house is a huge mess: carpet is torn up where there is water damage, the refrigerator is against the back wall, most of the furniture is in the garage, there is still debris scattered along the broken counter tops, and...oh yeah...there is an enormous hole in the front wall covered (mostly) by plywood. But the back of the house is normal. Chilly, but normal.

Neither Lisa nor I like to camp. But that is very much what this experience is like. We keep forgetting that we don't have access to everyday things. Our neighbors brought us dinner the other night and I wanted to salt my rice. I actually got up to get the salt before I realized that it was a "kitchen thing." Yesterday another wonderful soul brought us some Boston Market food. As she brought it at 3:30, it needed to be heated up for dinner. No microwave. What a wake up call to realize how many things we take for granted. I suspect the paper plates and plastic utensils might get old within the next couple of months as well.

But we are blessed. There are so many people taking care of us and many more who have offered. The insurance company will probably front us some money soon so we can get by. I will take my poor car into the body shop sometime this week for estimates. And we'll have to sit down with an attorney soon and start that whole process. But we're back at home and that's a very good thing.

One last thing. Is it just me, or wasn't there a time when if somebody's child did something like this they would, at some point, have to march over to the scene of the crime and apologize? Wasn't there a time when people tried to make amends for this sort of thing? We haven't seen this kid since the police gave him back to his dad last Wednesday. We don't even know his name. It bugs me a little. I'm sure that if I had done something like this when I was a teenager, I would have been mowing somebody's lawn for a long time. A very long time. Like, I probably still would be mowing it. Just a thought.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Teenagers and Toyotas

Last night as I was driving home (what there is of it) from Baja Fresh, Tres Tacos nestled firmly into the seat next to me, an 18-year old in a Camry slammed into the back of my Saturn.

Did I mention that my car was parked on the street and took a hit from the Corolla that rammed into my kitchen a few nights ago? Hey, at least the 18-year old had a license. But the teenager/Toyota coalition seems to have it in for me this week. I'm running scared.

The kid was very apologetic. He followed me off the road and exchanged info with me. He had no idea what to do and followed my lead. He busted a front light and the right/rear bumper of my car was ripped loose. Recently I described the life of my poor Saturn thusly:

"Ow...Ow...Hey, where am I? Who are you? Ow...Ow."

But it's still getting me where I need to go.

No progress on the house to report. The blowers are still going full blast, trying to dry up all the water damage. No progress on Blogger either; I still can't post pictures. But they're worth the wait.

I have to drive to Hanford tonight. Please pray for the streets to be clear of teenagers and Toyotas. Sheesh.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I Come From A Broken Home

That's my new line. Like it?

I called the Jury Commissioner's Office yesterday to see if I could get my jury duty postponed. I was supposed to report on Monday, but things are a little crazy. She asked for my badge number from my summons and I told her it got run over. She asked why it was in the street and I said, "It wasn't. It was on my refrigerator." Gotta have a little fun with this, right?

We are probably going to be out of the house the rest of the weekend. The blowers are on to try and dry up the water damage and so there are glass filaments and insulation in the air. Not so good to breathe. So we should be at Mom's a few more days. But they tell us we should have a wall back in a week or so. I think the kitchen may take longer than originally thought. Upon closer inspection there is a lot more damage. The car threw some pretty heavy things around and they gouged holes all over the place. But the cleaning crews and construction guys have been great. They all walk around agape at the whole thing (that's the goggling-eye, slack-jawed agape...not the three-syllable Greek kind). I got a bit of a shock when I pulled in from work yesterday and saw my bookcase in the garage. I'm very protective of my books and realized that a stranger had packed them up. Lisa assured me that he not only took great care of them, but packed them in alphabetical order for my easy return to the proper shelves.

You don't really appreciate the damage until you see it. But Blogger doesn't want me posting pictures right now so stay tuned.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

State of the Kitchen Address

Thanks to all for your prayers.

We spent last night at Mom's, finally getting to bed around 10:30, making it a 19-hour day. We would have been in bed earlier but we had to watch "Lost" (what was up with THAT, by the way???). Lisa spent the day taking care of everything. Insurance, contractors, workmen, endless phone calls, plus her own business. I don't think anybody knows how amazing she is. I mean just smart-tough-dedicated-perseverant-beautiful-funny-AMAZING!

Right now, the big stuff is out of the kitchen and on the front lawn: dishwasher, sink, cabinets, and lots of rubble. The power is on everywhere but the kitchen, but there is no water. We have been assured (yeah, we'll see, he said skeptically) that everything will be capped off and we'll have gas, electricity, and water back tonight. If they're right, that means we can sleep in our own bed. The weather looks fairly foreboding though, so I'll believe it when I'm sleeping. Lisa will probably spend most of today sorting through the rubble, salvaging what can be salvaged and writing down everything that was lost.

Tomorrow is a holiday. The original plan was to sleep long and late. But now, the workmen might have something to say about that. They say things will be back to normal in about 6 weeks. So it will probably be (he said, cynically) a couple of months. There will be a lot of hard work and hard decisions in the meantime (to sue, or not to sue, that is the question). I promise to keep posting if you promise to keep praying.

Dang, whatever happened to Positive Reinforcement Week?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Everybody's Fine!

It's the first thing you always say when something really big and traumatic happens. So let me just get it out of the way first. Everybody's Fine!

At 3:30 this morning a car ran into my house. And I don't mean they broke a window and sped away. I mean my dishwasher is over by the couch. The sink is blocking the pantry door. Oh, and there's a large gaping hole where a wall used to be.

Two 15 year olds were driving too fast and lost control. They panicked and hit the gas instead of the brake. They skidded into the curb across the street and ran up my lawn and into my kitchen. I know they were going fast because the wall isn't what stopped them. The island in the middle of the kitchen is what stopped them. One of them ran away. The other started to run but came back when my wife yelled at him to stop. She told him that he might be hurt and he needed to get looked at. To his credit, he stayed until the police came.

There's something about waking up to an enormous crash. There's something completely else about running out of your bedroom and seeing a pair of headlights shining through dust and smoke. But the true test comes when you go outside (ordered out, really, in case of a gas leak) and see your neighbors gathered together, already putting together ideas for how to take care of you. One house took in James, where he talked a bit about how scary monsters aren't real and then fell back asleep, and another gave us a key so we could use their bathroom to wash up and shower later. At least 4 others offered us assistance in the form of "whatever you need" and meant it. We have always said we were blessed by the people around us. Today has proven it again.

There are a ton of things to do. The house won't be habitable for a while and my mom will take us in as long as we need. Insurance will need to be contacted often and contractors will have to survey the damage. For now, two 4 by 4's are holding up the roof and a piece of plywood is keeping people out. My car was parked at the curb and it got swiped but it's fine. The tow truck did a number on the front lawn. And we have no kitchen. But we are amazed at how much stuff is okay. And we aren't into stuff that much anyway. My collection of pint glasses is in pieces. Oh well.

Let me save you all the awkward necessity of pointing out the irony in this happening during "Positive Reinforcement Week." I get it. The fact is that my family is okay and God is good. We'll be inconvenienced for a while and then we'll get back in our house with new carpet, new paint, new appliances, and a new wall. A little prayer for us to get over the initial trauma would be nice. But everybody's fine. Everybody's fine.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

You've Got To...

...aaaaaaccennnnnntuate the positive....eeeeeeelimmmmmminate the negative...

The children were miserable today. 1st period apparently spent Friday walking all over my substitute. 6 of them came in late. I ranted. 3rd period was better. But one student with severe ADD (the current medical term for what we used to refer to as "completely squirrelly) was out of control and had to be sat on. Almost literally. I railed. During 5th period, I asked one student to work a problem on the board. He walked out instead. I asked another student to move to a different seat. She walked out too. I ranted and railed.

I'm still in shock that my students this year have the habit of getting up and walking out of the classroom. But, seeing as how it's "Positive Reinforcement Week" here in Blogland, I choose not to focus on these children. Instead, let's talk about Shirley.

Shirley is in my home room. 3 years ago, she was one of those kids I hoped wouldn't show up. She was surly, defiant, and had her own time table. Things got a little better the next year. And even better the next. This year, as a senior, Shirley still has her own time table. But she has become a different person. She's grown up. Today, mid-rant and pre-rail, she came into my room and handed me a cold Pepsi and an unpopped bag of popcorn. She smiled and walked out.

Sometimes there is only one positive thing that happens all day. There are times when that one thing is harder to find than other times. But it's there if we look hard enough. The joy of an omnipresent God is that His ear, His shoulder, His teaching, His love, His Son, His Spirit...they never leave us. He is next to, all around, and deep inside. In times of gloom and general blecchiness (my blog, my words), He is wonderfully inescapable. When my mind is on myself, I think "Where can I go to hide from Thee?" But when I need Him, how my attitude changes. When my mind is on Him, I praise him for being a prayer away.

He's with you right now. Look! There He is! You may as well say hi.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Good Things

There is very little that is significant about the number 41. It's a prime. You can't do any numerical tricks with it. About all that I can come up with is that '41 was an amazing year for baseball, what with Williams hitting .406 and Dimaggio's streak. But as far as ages go, it's a great big, "Eh." Still, it was a great birthday. And, yes, that's the big change...whoopee!

My Calculus class threw me a party. I think they're trying to outdo the awesome group I had last year. The jury's still out but they are making it close. We got quite a bit less math done than usual, but I guess that's okay once in a while. After work, Lisa and James met me for a scrumptious dinner at McDonald's. I was leaving for my retreat out of town and it's all we had time for. I'm sure we'll make it up soon (hint, hint, baby).

The weekend was beyond description. I could try, but I would either leave too much out or just go on so long that people would abandon the blog forever. It was a time that simply transcends words and bullet points. If I was forced to put it into a sentence, I would say that a group of men, many of whom have served God faithfully for their entire lives, learned for the first time just how much God loves them. At least to the extent that we can grasp it.

It is a powerful thing to learn that God loves you. And not in the Biblical, memory-verse, "God Loves You" sort of way. But in the perfect, blameless-in-Christ, "knitted together in your mother's womb" sort of way. There's nothing we can do to make Him love us any more and there's nothing we can do to make Him love us any less. He gets disappointed, frustrated, and angry but He never stops loving us. We spend a lot of time tearing ourselves down and concentrating on our faults. And a certain amount of introspection and self-analysis is a good thing. We can't ever become better people if we don't look clearly at who we are and what we are doing. But God sees us through the blood of our perfect Saviour and remembers us always as the clay He Himself molded. We are His children. He can't NOT love us.

I think today would be a good day to think about what you're doing right. That's okay, you know. It's not always pride to focus on good things. How can we keep doing them if we don't recongize them? So, how is God pleased with you today? What have you done to lift Him up? How have you served others? What have you been successful at lately? Have you sung to Him? Have you written about Him? Have you caught 13 fish...given your mother-in-law a ride...supported someone who was grieving...spent quality time with your son...turned down a chance to do something wrong...bought somebody food...prayed for a friend...taught someone how to be better at their job...studied when you wanted to be playing...told your spouse how important they are...given money away?

Remember, you do more right than wrong.

God loves you beyond words. You are His chosen one, his child. There's nothing He wouldn't, nothing He hasn't done for you. Satan would love for you to believe that you are worthless and ugly, that your sin defines you. But we know better. God has taken our sin from us as far as the east is from the west. He created us in His image. We are far from ugly to Him.

Thank you for your prayers this weekend. They were answered in abundance.

God loves you. So do I.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Books

There it is! The change is at the right. Everything is different now.

Not too long ago I listed the books in my stack at home, the ones waiting to be read. I got to many of them this summer and am still working my way through. Of course, the stack grows faster than it shrinks, but that's a good thing. In our lesson on study Sunday, I listed some books and authors that I thought people might want to try out. I tried to list a spectrum of genres and levels. My feeling is that there are book-people and non-book-people, but that there are plenty of non-book-people who just haven't found the right books.

I mentioned the Bible first. I thought that was wise. Then I mentioned some devotional books. I love "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. Next year I'm going to go through "Bread For The Journey" by Henri Nouwen. I also have "Streams in the Desert" and others. Devotional books all seem to have those kind of names. But they are wonderful tools for setting our minds on things above.

Then I went over some classics. "Mere Christianity" by Lewis for instance. And new classics such as "Blue Like Jazz". I mentioned authors like McLaren and Yancey.

I didn't spend much time on commentaries but I did list William Barclay. His New Testament studies can be read like daily devotionals; they are certainly broken up into bite-size pieces. Whenever I am studying a section from the NT, I go to Barclay first.

Time for others to weigh in. What are you reading now? What have you read lately that touched you? Which commentaries are musts? Which authors do you never miss when they write something new? What do you suggest to others and why?

I am currently reading "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Nouwen. I imagine a three-part blog series is imminent.

I'll be away at a retreat this weekend. I'm leaving after school today and coming home Sunday. Please keep us in your prayers while we are there. I look forward to catching up on lives and comments during the Monday morning blogging.

In the meantime, I'm sure that some people are still wondering what the huge change was. Look closer. I'm sure you'll notice it eventually. (As Bugs would say, Greg: Ain't I a stinkah?)

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Teamwork

Pre-script: Remember to watch the space to the right for an exciting change in the "intentional walk" blog. I'm all ashiver.

Heh heh. I'm so lame.

Yesterday James' teacher pulled my wife aside when she went to pick him up. She's been pulled aside a couple of times recently to talk about some poor choices James was making in class and so she went with a little trepidation. But Teacher Maria wanted to tell her that James did an excellent job in class yesterday, and was even line-leader for the fire drill. Hey, that's a big deal when you're 4. I'm proud of that boy and proud of Lisa for how hard she works to bring him up right. I do what I can but let's be honest. Stay-at-home moms bear most of the load and should get most of the credit. Especially stay-at-home moms with 2 or 3 other jobs, some of them full-time.

At our Worship Committee meeting yesterday, it really hit me how well the group of six works together. The Spirit is so alive during those times. This series on Discipleship has been, in my opinion, one of the best we've had at College in a long time. And I think it's because we have been willing to be open-minded in planning worship times and willing to put our egos aside and take suggestions from others. The things from past weeks that stand out the most are ideas that developed after being tossed back and forth in our meetings. When I spoke on prayer, it was Doug who suggested we gather around our elders and pray for them. When I spoke on study, it was Sandra who suggested we have a homework assignment to be turned in by e-mail. None of these things would have happened if we didn't work as a team and allow the Spirit to lead us.

I'm just old enough to have loved the Hope/Crosby road movies. It's funny that I think of them when I think of good teams, but I do. They sang, "It's you for me and me for you, we'll muddle through whatever we do...together...wherever...we goooooooooooooo...." Love that. They also sang, "...because without teeeeeamwork, there's no teeeeeeeeammmmm." Of course, they also rode on camels and played patty-cake so....

We've come a long way from the songleader picking songs and the preacher writing his sermon and one of the two choosing people to lead prayers and communion. I love gathering to worship, feeling the presence of God among us, and knowing that we are all one. I'm grateful for this team that has allowed me to come alongside and be part of the planning.

A final note. Randy referenced this in his post today, but I want to repeat it. Please be in prayer for the family and the church of Kyle Lake, the former pastor of the University Baptist Church in Waco, Texas. You can read more about him in the Vintage Faith blog, linked at the right. Sometimes we are bewildered but, from the little I know of Kyle, he understood the supremity of the will of God.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Trick or Treating

Once again, Batman stalked the lonely streets of Fresno last night. Several Batmen, actually. Bevies of Batmen. Hundreds of hippies. Thousands of thugz. Ninjas to the nth. A plethora of princesses. As usual, most of the parents were more into it than the kids were. And I was so thankful, as I always am, for the safety of my neighborhood.

James was awesome this year. He walked up to each door by himself, rang the bell, and waited for an answer. He had to be reminded to say anything the first few times, but then he got it. The door would open and he would say, "Trick or treating!" We tried to correct him at first, but then we just laughed each time and enjoyed the forming memory. He said thank you almost every time and, walking away from the door, would pick out his new treasure and hold it up to us, making an "O" with his mouth and raising his eyebrows. The treat was just watching him.

I was happy to see fewer teenagers this year and almost no "out of the neighborhood, just driving in to take your free candy" kids. Also, apparently, the robot costume has been retired.

Robot costume story: A few years back, one of the trick-or-treaters showed up in a home made robot costume comprised mostly of cardboard boxes placed in strategic locations. There had been a lot of effort put into it, including a slot in the chest which slid open to receive the candy. We were so impressed and commented about it the rest of the night. Sadly, the costume returned the next year, banged up and with mushed corners. By the third straight year, the robot costume had become the dented cardboard box costume. It was unrecognizable. The slot barely opened and was tilted to the side. The poor kid inside walked with a definite tilt as the boxes barely fit together anymore. I don't think he wore the costume so many years out of poverty...I think he was just really attached to it.

The downside to Halloween, from a teacher's perspective, is that the kids are wired! And when it falls on a Monday, they are wired all the live long week. The upside is that James only gets a couple of pieces of candy each day. The others must somehow be consumed before they go bad. What are moms and dads for?

Post-Halloween Postscript: Watch the space to the right for an exciting change in the days to come! Oooooh...bated breath...what could it be?

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