Intentional Walk: November 2007

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Reason #4297...

...why I love my kid.

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Great Banquet

Yesterday was a time of food and family. The College Church gathered around tables to worship, sing, fellowship and pray.

I delivered a short message of hope and expectation. We looked at the seven promises made to the churches in Revelation 2 and 3. It was a rush to read about these things we have to look forward to...eating from the tree of life...a white stone with a new name...sitting with Jesus on his throne...sharing God's manna feast together.

As I read, I looked out on my family, seated around tables together, and I was struck (as I am from time to time) by a vision of heaven. When we get there, you just know that we're going to feast. We're going to be together. And it's going to be good.

Our elders shared some of their personal struggles with us and gave us insight into who they are and what they do. They were open and vulnerable. They reminded us that they are just men, that they suffer and rejoice just as the rest of us do.

And then we all ate tri tip and pilaf (that's "beef and rice" to those of you not from this neck) and talked and shared and laughed together. The hope going into the day was that it would be memorable, something to look back on with fondness. That was certainly achieved.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving

Years ago, when he was still doing stand-up, Steve Martin hosted a few variety specials. On one of them, he listed some wild and crazy things for which he was thankful. For instance, Steve was thankful that little children don't burst into flames when you say the number 4. This list was one of many reasons that I grew to love Steve Martin.

The following list is far less silly (though I think with a government grant I could make it a lot more silly...sorry...Python...), but reflects where I am this Thanksgiving Day.

I am thankful for a loving Lord, for an incredible wife, for a sweet, funny boy, for a great family and loyal friends. There's a reason that it sounds cliche to say those things. If you are very aware of God's blessings, you can't help but be grateful for Him and for the people He puts in your life.

I am thankful for a time of life when He has turned my attention towards serving Him in new ways. I'm grateful for options.

I am thankful for baseball, in particular for Torii Hunter. I can't believe the Angels signed him, I have no idea what they're up to (well, I have an idea), but I like him and he makes my team better. Cool Thanksgiving Day news.

I am thankful for Billy Joel. We saw him perform Monday night and the Piano Man still rocks. Plus, he was funny, personable, and tried very hard to make up a song about Fresno. And he introduced himself as "Billy Joel's dad."

I am thankful for my church. On Sunday, we will all be sitting around tables during our worship time. Later we will all share a meal together. Many (most?) C's of C would never entertain such an idea, but I know that most of our folks will just go with it. I can't wait to share communion around an actual table. What an opportunity.

I am thankful for my wife. Yes, I know, I mentioned her already. She deserves two.

I am thankful, very thankful, for a large extended family of brothers and sisters who love Jesus so much. I am thankful for their support and encouragement, for their thoughtfulness and prayer, for their openness and worship, for their willingness to repent and guide, and above all, for their love.

Give thanks to the Lord, our God and King. His love endures forever.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Lord of Quarks and Strings

This one's for David and Jim and all my other science buddies.

"We teach the Jesus who is the master of the created universe and of human history. He is the one in control of all the atoms, particles, quarks, strings, and so forth upon which the physical cosmos depends.

"Human beings have long aspired to control the ultimate foundations of ordinary reality. We have made a little progress, and there remains an unwavering sense that this is the direction of our destiny. That is the theological meaning of the scientific and technological enterprise. It has always presented itself as the instrument for solving human problems, though without its theological context it becomes idolatrous and goes mad."

(More from Dallas Willard's "The Divine Conspiracy." I know, I know, I've been reading this book forever. Leave me alone. I'm savoring it.)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The E-word

The College Church will announce three new elders on Sunday. I will not be one of them.

Those who already know this have expressed their genuine concern for me. I have assured them all that I am perfectly fine with this outcome. From the outset, I've said that this was in God's hands. He has selected three excellent Christian men to help lead this church. The time may or may not come that I will perform that service as well. But for now, it is not to be.

There were a number of reasons that people did not want me to be a Shepherd at College. Probably the most common one is that I am the father of a 6-year-old boy and folks are concerned that I would be away from him too much with all of the responsibilities that eldership brings. Happily, my divorce was not a problem for many. The church is growing up, at least in that respect.

I found the whole process enlightening. You learn a lot about people in any kind of stressful situation. I found that we have some very good men who are willing to sacrifice a great deal to serve others. There were negatives, sure, but as a sometime preacher I'm quite used to those. It was nice to see how many positives we have.

Perhaps I will go through this again sometime. For now I'll continue to do what I've been doing for so long already.

On that note, I visited the local seminary last week, hoping to sign up for some classes. Since my 40 days of prayer, I've felt a yearning to preach the Word, perhaps even to make that my full-time gig at some point in the future. I was discouraged to find out what the tuition fees were...well beyond what we can afford as a family at this point. While I am content to begin an education that could take many years to complete, I'm not okay with putting my family in debt to do so. So again, for now, I find myself staying put in the teaching profession and blessed to be able to preach at College from time to time.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm finding it hard to get excited about my job these days. It's one thing to reach a point of exhaustion with one's profession. It's another thing to combine that exhaustion with a sincere desire for something else. I'm praying that God either invigorates the ministries I currently have or shows me a way to do something new.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Light

You are the light of the world.

A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Salt

You are the salt of the earth.

But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Loneliness and Joy

A word or two about divorce and loneliness.

I think it's pretty clear that nobody can truly relate to those who go through divorce having never suffered through it themselves. It is a process I wouldn't wish on anybody. Beyond the obvious struggles of having to adapt to a whole new life, there are all the hidden aches and pains. You wonder what people will think of you. You wonder if life will ever feel "normal" again. You wonder and worry about how it is affecting everyone around you. My chief problem was simply the uncertainty of it all. I don't do well with expected change. Unexpected change sends me reeling.

Eventually, the process is over and for better or for worse (almost always for worse), a new phase of life begins. And with it comes a new reality...that of loneliness.

Many of us tend to be very good with helping people through hardship. When a friend loses a loved one, we are there for them. We bring food, we send cards, we call with encouraging words, we hug and love all over them. Our trials usually find us surrounded with well-wishers. The problem is that this kind of treatment cannot last all that long. When people feel as though we are over the worst of it, they go back to treating us as before. And that's okay! There comes a time when all we want is for people to treat us like they used to.

Recently it hit me in the face, however, that when the trauma of divorce is over, the reality of loneliness begins. And it doesn't go away. Unless we are blessed enough to find ourselves loved again, unless we find someone new with which to share intimacy, we are simply lonely souls.

And let me insert here that this is exactly why I thank God each and every day for my wife. Beyond being the incredibly wonderful partner that she is, I will never forget what life was like before I met her. My scale of joy didn't go from zero to a number I would put somewhere in the hundred-thousands. It started at a number somewhere deep in the negatives. If that doesn't make sense, you'll have to forgive me. You can take the boy out of the math but you can't take the math out of the boy.

What can we do for the people we know who suffer with loneliness each and every day? First of all, we can recognize it. We can pay attention to those we know who are alone. We can make plans with them, call them, drop them an e-mail just to let them know that they are on our minds. You have no idea what it means just to know that somebody is thinking about you. And always, always we can pray for them. I've made no secret of the fact that a righteous man prayed for me when I brought my loneliness to him. And of the fact that I met Lisa that week.

Whom do you know that is having a very lonely time of it right now?

______________________________________________

I was out of town from Thursday through Sunday. When I got home I found out that my son could read.

Rather than have me read to him upon returning home, he instead chose to share a little book with me. He sounded things out, missed a couple of words, but read a few entire sentences. I beamed. What amazing joy to see our children develop and grow.

Yesterday I learned that he is apparently telling time as well.

Next week, he may choose to begin his own blog.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Weekend Update

I appreciate all of the prayers and the concern this past week. The kidney stone has taken care of itself (all things must pass) and, while I have been bothered with some pesky headaches recently, they seem to be abating as well. I was at a retreat all weekend and missed church because of it. I was sorry to miss the new and improved "elder selection process," but I was so much more productive where I was.

The weekend was truly amazing. God's involvement was impossible to deny. I believe that lives were permanently changed as a result of the Spirit's work. I was blessed to be His instrument and to grow so much closer to some wonderful friends and brothers.

Have you considered today God's love for you...His infinite, overwhelming, indescribable love? No matter what you're going through, no matter how low the lows, He is there. He rejoices with your triumphs and aches for your hurts. He is there for you to turn to, to dump things on, to hold you up, to wrap you in His loving arms. He is there to laugh with you. He is there to weep with you. Have you allowed yourself to feel His love today?

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