Look, Ma! No Cavities!
Thanks go right up front to Carolyn, who y'all know as "timeless," for getting me in to see the doc. She knew just who I should see and she set everything up. And hopefully, within a few days, I'll be breathing again.Here is a short list of some of the things you can't do when no air is getting through your nose:
Chew with your mouth closed.
Say words with "m's" and "n's."
Focus for more than 10 minutes.
Play with your kid.
Sleep for extended periods of time.
Be cool.
This last item, in particular, has been bothersome to myself and those around me. I'm hard to recognize when I ain't got my cool on.
So they did another CT scan, this time focusing on my sinuses. And they found that they're pretty much not there. I guess from the way they explained it that most of you have these holes inside your head? Yeah, I don't have those. So they stuck a scope up my nose (they called it a "rhinoscopy" which has always made me wonder about the need to use "rhino" as a prefix for "nose." I mean, I don't really mind, but it's probably hard to take for those people with enormous schnozollas). We all spent some really fun time looking at the inside of my head. The docs looked like they had never seen such a thing. I mostly sat there mumbling, "Done yet?"
Eventually, I got a bunch of pills, another appointment, and the near certainty of surgery in my future. But hey, if it gives me back my cool, who's to argue?
At one point, Mike (Carolyn's friend, my new hero, and an all-around nice guy) said, "I'd say that you're going to feel normal again, but I don't think you have any idea what 'normal' feels like." Trust me, he meant it in a nice way.
So hopefully this all heralds a return to normality. Unless I was running for president, and then it would herald a "return to normalcy." That one was for you history buffs.
Y'all stay cool.
posted by Thurman8er @ 7:26 AM
6 Comments:
Sounds like you need a "holy" nose. Sorry Steve, I couldn't resist. We'll certainly continue to pray for this to be the first step in a "return to normalcy" for you.
I didn't know one could function without sinuses.
As for being cool, I can't believe you even brought that up.
Brady, I suppose I actually DO have sinuses. They've just been taken over by alien forces and co-opted from my head.
As for being cool, it's in the eye of the beholder, baby.
Normal is highly overrated, and coolness is forever. No nose aliens can take away your cool, Steve.
I hope you reclaim your head soon, as you window of being able to smell Fall's awesomeness is small.
Um, that would be YOUR window, not YOU window. I'm not cool enough to spel wel.
I KNOW you would be a GREAT President!! You follow instructions well!
My prayers for you were answered...GOD IS GOOD!!
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