Friday, March 31, 2006

I'm A Big Phony

The recent discussion of what the Church of Christ is is both important and revealing. Matt Ritchie has a prophetic post about it in his blog. My problem is, the more I read about it, the more I write about it, the more I think about it, the more I have to honestly admit how different my thinking is from mainstream C of C.

I am not going to reveal today just how different my thinking is. I probably will, bit by bit, over time and I expect criticism and correction and concern along the way. Suffice it to say for the nonce (isn't that a great expression?) that I do not arrive at my beliefs easily or without careful thought and study. And as to the scriptures you're all going to throw at me some day, yes, I've read all those too.

It's easy to say, "I don't believe that a capella music is fundamental to salvation." Even the die hards are giving in on that one. Which is not to say that there aren't people who think I'm going to hell for believing it. But the fact is that the issue of music is a layup compared to the ones I will be taken to task for in time. Women's roles. Unity with other denominations. Baptism.

Why does all this make me feel like a big phony? Because I teach at a C of C. And I preach at a C of C. And if I were ever interviewed and asked about the BIGGIES, I may have taught my last class there and preached my last sermon. I feel as though I'm hiding something, even though I'm passing along the words I'm given and serving where I've been led. For now, I think my best course of action is to follow the advice of Mike Cope and start doing more...and talking less. I don't mean this to be a cop out, but it's Friday. Spring Break is coming. And I just think I'll wait a bit longer to air all my dirty laundry.

Tomorrow is the second attempt at tee ball for James. That just seems more important for some reason.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Clearing the Table

I have to start today by recognizing some of the recent new faces in the comment section. If "faliny" and "akshadylady" happen to drop by again, be extra nice to them. They both had to put up with a very young, very raw teacher who shouted too much and loved too little. They've stuck with me long enough to know that I have grown better with age...like a fine wine...so I'm grateful to them for that. And for keeping in touch. They are, for the record, now about the same age as my wife. Which makes me old. And a cradle-robber.

It's so nice when somebody drops by, or lets you know they've been keeping up. I forget about the ol' blog from time to time and occasionally somebody will say, "So how are things going with Crazy Dad?"...or..."Mustang, huh? Nice." Then I'll remember what I've written about recently and thank them. Then I'll walk off and think about how I really should be spending more time writing about deep, philosophical, theological concepts and less time writing about my headaches and my car. So, Marsha...and Jon...and Sue (who apparently is going to be paying for everybody's kids to go to Pepperdine), this paragraph is for you.

And so, in the spirit of writing about deep issues: Dave and Lori made it through another week! The Amazing Nerds bickered a bit for the first time last night. Lori got frustrated with a puzzle and they actually raised their voices! Dave was so distraught that he cried in front of Phil the Host. Phil the Host, in a surprising display of relationship counseling said, "Aw, give her a hug." And all was well in nerdland. 7 teams remain. Who will win "The Amazing Race"?!?

I leave you today with these words from Dorothy Sayers: "It is precisely because of the eternity outside time that everything in time becomes valuable and important and meaningful." Give yourself a compliment today. Try hard to see yourself as God sees you.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

What Happened Instead

No crazy dads showed up at yesterday's Open House. At least, none showed up at my room.

Instead, it rained cats and dogs. Some teachers had as few as two parents attend. I had 14 kids represented by moms, dads, aunts, and foster moms...none of them crazy.

That's pretty much how the whole day went. The lesson yesterday was on factoring (don't worry, I won't elaborate) and two of my toughest kids, from two different classes, were johnny-on-the-spot with every answer. They were the first to finish the assignment and were helping the other members of their groups, much to the collective astonishment of all.

There was a luncheon yesterday honoring kids who have been working hard and showing improvement. It wasn't for "A" students necessarily, just for those who have decided their studies are important. Each student was allowed to invite a staff member who has helped or influenced them. One of my Algebra students invited me and I got a free ham sandwich, chips, candy bar, and a world of positive reinforcement. Sunnyside does this once a quarter and it is always a great way of honoring both kids and teachers.

Lex came to keep me company last night and to watch my back. No muscle was needed but it was nice to have him there. We didn't get to visit as much as I would have liked because the stream of parents was so steady, but that's a good thing. The ones who brave the rain to come to Open House are the ones you definitely want on your side. We had some great exchanges, got a couple of kids back on track, and it all went extremely well.

The day taught me two things. First, it reminded me of how much good there still is in this job, even in the toughest of years. One of the Open House attendees brought his older sister with him who was my student two years ago and a real favorite. She gave me a great hug and told me she missed me. You really can't beat that.

Secondly, I was reminded for the umpteenth time...that is a number by the way, somewhere around a gazillion...that prayer is not only effective but powerful. God isn't just faithful to give us what we need, He rejoices in mashing it all together and just showering us with it. I guess I can understand that. It's how I feel when I give my son something. I am so blessed to know so many righteous people whose prayers availeth much. I slipped into King James there for a second but the sentiment is pure. I love all you prayer warriors and am very grateful.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Working Weekend

Tee Ball was rained out.

Rain was forecast all morning so we were pretty sure there would be no game. Still, we drove to the church hosting the league (People's Church) to pick up James' cap and shirt. I'd been wondering about the team cap for some time. According to reports, two years ago all of the players in the league were issued mesh caps with the "People's" logo on them. Mesh caps. For tee ball. They must have looked like a thousand midget truckers all running around in circles.

The news was better from last year, but still with a troubling side. Last year, the teams were actually named after Major League teams and issued caps accordingly. While this is a far better alternative than mesh (brrrrrrrrrrr...), it presents a possible dilemma. What if my kid ends up on the Yankees? Or worse, the A's fercryinoutloud??? I love baseball, I'm cool with most teams, and I acknowledge the far-flung possibility that James could end up on the Angels in this scenario. But with my luck, the kid would end up playing right field with an NY on his cap which would make him (deep breath) Gary Sheffield!

So it was that with great trepidation, we made our way to the back of the gym and found our coach. Who gave James a cap. A Major League Baseball Official Logo Cap. Which was black. With a yellow "P". Pirates. The "P" was for "Phew!" Looking around, I noticed that every kid in the gym was receiving the same cap and that's when I figured it out. The "P" was for "People's." Good compromise. Since all the shirts were different colors we could tell the players without a program. And Major League decorum remained established.

Rain or no rain, we spent about an hour in that gym. There was a couple I knew from College Church, there with their great-granddaughter. There were my good friends Lloyd and Danielle, there with their enormous boys. There was my large, life-saving VP, starting his son out in the same group as James. There were our friends Dave and Tracy, veterans of the tee ball biz. None of these people knew each other, yet we all knew them. And it was a church tee ball league that put us all in the same place. Now, if that doesn't get you thinking about the fun you're going to have introducing folks to other folks someday on the Other Side, then I don't know what will.

The rest of the weekend, in rapid succession:

Stop for donuts to make up for the rainout.

Lisa runs errands while I try to study for Sunday's sermon.

James needs me more than the books do and we hang out.

I write, erase, re-write, practice, prepare a Powerpoint presentation for, and re-practice the sermon.

My brain hurts. Watch Friday's "Deal or No Deal." Both contestants get greedy and end up with a grand total of $58.00 between them. I laugh hysterically.

The guy I asked to do the children's story preceding the sermon has to back out. Ugh.

Take James to Grammie's and go get sushi. Mmmmmmm...sushi.

Return home and write a children's version of Gideon.

Put together a Powerpoint for the kiddies.

(Tired yet?)

Look over the sermon one last time for the day.

Go to bed.

Get up.

Get to church early to go over Powerpoints with James, the AV guy.

(Side note: the AV guy is the unsung hero. Some hoo-hah from back east gave us all new slides for Sunday morning with, get this, NOTES. Now the AV guy gets blisters from all the clicking he has to do. Plus, he has to actually listen to the sermon to make the Powerpoint slides fit in the right places. Take your AV guy to lunch sometime. He deserves it.)

(Side note on the side note: The church loved...LOVED...the new slides. As a member of the Worship Committee and the Steering Committee and the Committee on Creating Committees, I heard at least a dozen different people say how much they appreciated having notes on the screen. Somebody should really market that kind of software. It is very well-done.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Talk with the new children's story guy about the new children's story.

Pray.

Preach.

Visit the Smith group because they invited me there to pray over me. Seems they don't want me to die at the hands of Crazy Dad during Open House. I love my church family.

Go back to my class. Teach it.

Stay for Steering Committee meeting.

Skip a party due to severe headache. Wonder where it came from?

Go home. Nap. Heavily.

The rest of the weekend is kind of a blur. I felt prayers from all over this weekend though and I continue to feel them today. I know that my fellow bloggers are thinking about me and I want you all to know how much I appreciate it. As busy as it was, it was a good weekend and a great Sunday. It was so nice to have my sister and niece there after some time away. And nice to see a couple of my favorite people at church who I hadn't seen for almost two years.

God never said He wasn't going to work us. But His rewards are awesome. Now get back to work, would you?

Friday, March 24, 2006

McBirthday

Yesterday was a good day.

I made up for 3 weeks of early rising by getting out of bed at 10:00. After breakfast I flopped on the couch and watched a game recorded from the day before: Angels vs. Giants. It's only Spring Training, but it was nice to see my boys pummel Barry's boys. It was also nice to just lie there and spend some time not thinking. My brain was tired.

The afternoon was spent finalizing a report for the church's Steering Committee then studying for and starting to write Sunday's sermon. The story of Gideon provides a lot of food for thought (or should I say "wheat for threshing?") Where do you go with a 15-minute sermon?

  • With God for us, who can be against us?
  • God can use a wheat-threshing warrior just as well as he can use a left-handed man, an oxgoad wielder, or even (gasp) a woman.
  • He speaks in different ways...through angels, through dreams, directly, through others...and we still wonder if that was really His voice.
  • The greatest of servants can still falter at the end.
  • God picks the right servant for the right service.

In the end, I chose none of the above. We'll focus on two things. First, that whereever we are sent to serve, God got there first and He will be there when we're gone. Before Gideon's army ever busted their jars, God was already working on them in their dreams. After the torches were revealed God kept stirring up the confusion. He leads like a shepherd and His presence outlasts us.

Second, we need to know that no service is too big or too small. We may not be sent to fight a war (I can live with that), but we will be sent to do something. Many things. We'll be sent to teach, to help a friend, to give something away, to show hospitality, to pay a visit, to make a phone call, to lend an ear. We must understand that God counts on us to answer His call. And even if the world around us doesn't know us by a single name like Gideon or Moses or Deborah, God knows us by the name He's given us. And that's all that matters.

So the sermon isn't finished, but at least it has direction.

The relaxing (slightly work-filled) day was much needed, because we celebrated James' birthday last night at McDonalds. The playroom was overrun with McFamily and McFriends. There was a lot of McScreaming and more than a few McTears. The place smelled of kid sweat and the floor grew steadily stickier as the night wore on due to the spilled soda in the corner. Some of the adults came back to pay James a visit and then spent most of the evening in the main McSection, away from the noise. Most of the parents though stuck it out and enjoyed watching the McPlay area fill up with kids. I'm fairly certain I saw some little guys going up the slide as others were coming down at the same time. I'm not quite sure how they pulled it off. James wanted me to go down the slide with him, but it was one of those enclosed plastic deals that ensures adult electrocution so, this time, he was on his own.

After lots of playtime, happy meals were served followed by cake and ice cream. Eventually, people started heading home and you could hear yourself think again. James' best buddy, Benjamin, was the last to leave. We gathered up all the McGifts (seized the booty), loaded up the Durango, and headed home. It was wild, but where else can you cater a party for 20 kids for 85 bucks? We noticed later that they didn't charge us for all the kids and wondered if the fact that our hostess used to be in my Geometry class was the reason. I didn't speculate as I wasn't sure if it meant she was being nice or she couldn't count.

James opened his presents when we got home and, as always, I was as excited about his stuff as he was. My mom got him a Toss Across game; she must have remembered how many times I asked for it as a kid. There were lots of Spider-man items and Hot Wheels tracks and Star Wars figures and James was up early this morning asking what we would play with first.

What McFun.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Couch Potato

Lately I have been a lousy advocate for the teaching profession. This post probably won't help.

Our school has hired a consultant group to help bring up our test scores. Because, you know, test scores show how good you are at teaching. (Does sarcasm translate in blogland? I'm never sure.) So Monday and Tuesday afternoons were spent with the guy assigned to the math department. Poor guy. He didn't know what he was in for.

Today I am in tech training all day. It's good stuff but it's hard to be out of the classroom so much. There is a lot to do in the coming weeks, especially as the AP test approaches. Add to the busy workweek James' birthday, James' birthday party, preparing a lesson for Sunday's class, and preparing Sunday's sermon and you can see why I have enjoyed calling it a day and plopping on the couch for an hour or two before bedtime.



I am currently fighting an oncoming addiction to "Deal Or No Deal." I am finding that there are two aspects of this show I greatly enjoy. One is guessing the amount the banker will offer the contestant to quit and go home. The other is rooting against each contestant as they begin to show obvious signs of greed. I've only watched two and a half episodes, but I've rooted against everybody so far except the Texan who actually quit when he had enough. I'm also anxious to see if Howie Mandel blows up a rubber glove with his nose.



I am, of course, firmly addicted to The Amazing Race. Last week's cliffhanger wrapped up last night in Germany. My favorite nerds, Dave and Lori, were in last place for a while, but the mother and daughter got hopelessly lost on the audobaun. So they lived to race another week. There weren't any great nerd quotes this week, but I love watching these two play. They stay very calm and they never bicker. They are incredibly supportive of each other, they are smart, they are friendly to the other players, but they came to win. The hippies are funnier, but I seem to identify with the nerds more.

I'm taking tomorrow off so that I can stay home and rest a bit. I'll work on my sermon but mostly I just need some time to shake off the stress of the last couple of weeks. I'll need the rest since tomorrow evening we are celebrating James' birthday at McDonalds with family and about 20 of his friends. I'm taking an Excedrin before we go.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

40 Minutes

Two weeks ago I was walking down the hall at school during classtime and I saw a student standing outside a room looking in the window. I said, "Hey, what are you doing in the hallway looking in windows?" He answered, "What are you doing in the hallway looking in windows?"

And that became the next couple of weeks of my life.

He wouldn't tell me where he was supposed to be. Campus security was busy elsewhere. So it fell to me to find out who the young man was and where he belonged. It turned out that a teacher let him out of class early and he was loitering outside his brother's classroom. Every question I asked was met with a sneer and a returned question, most of which started with "Why should I...?" He kept telling me that I wasn't his teacher and I kept affirming that I really, really knew that. After 20 minutes of fact-finding, detention-assigning, and detention-walking-out-on, the young man was released back into the wild.

My follow-up was to go to the teacher who let him out and ask her to give the young man the detention slip I had written up for him: 20 minutes for window-peeking, 20 minutes for disrespect. His follow-up was to make up stories about me and tell them to his dad.

Now, don't get me wrong. If my son comes home some day and tells me that one of his teachers is following him around, harrassing him, saying nasty things about him to his other students...well, I'll be upset. It won't put me in a killing rage, but I'll be upset. This kid's dad was more than upset though. He was mad. So mad that...

...he came looking for me.
...campus security spent the week patrolling my classroom.
...the VP had me lock my door, y'know, "just in case."

And when we finally had our conference on Friday--me, the parents, the student, the AP and the VP--I spent 25 minutes being threatened, intimidated, and verbally abused. These parents honestly did not have a problem with what their child said. In fact, it's what they have taught him to do. If someone in authority asks you a question, you ask them one right back. I wonder how this is going to work for this young man the first time he is pulled over by a policeman for rolling through a stop sign.

After a while I got up and left. The dad was going to follow me out but our large VP stood up and kept him at bay. According to reports, the conference went on for some time after my departure and was, at all times, audible to the entire main office. The final result was that the student spent the prescribed 40 minutes of detention with the Assistant Principal.

How will this all play out? I honestly don't know. I've been doing this job too long to change now. The next time I see a kid in the hall who's not supposed to be there, I'm going to ask him where he belongs. I don't think anything has really been done to deter this young man from continuing his pattern. (It should be noted that my friend, Jim, has also seen him in the halls during class and my friend, Carolyn, was called an incredibly offensive and obscene name by him a few months ago. To date, he continues to enjoy his place on the tennis team and his job as a T.A. across the hall from me.) And dad? Well, I'll probably get to meet up with him next Monday at Open House. He has no access to the campus normally, but all parents are encouraged to be here that night. Time will tell if he decides to pay me a visit.

This has been a lousy school year and this is the icing on the cake. Sometimes I feel like God is putting His two large hands squarely on my back and pushing me towards a different career. Other times I look at the big picture and realize that last year was great and next year probably will be again. But when you're in the thick of it, it makes it awfully hard to get up in the morning. Pray for safety. Pray for blackened hearts. Pray for my students.

Pray, pray, pray. It's the best, sometimes the only, solution for everything.

Monday, March 20, 2006

5 And Counting

James is 5 today!

It seems like yesterday...a couple of months ago, tops...that Lisa and I pulled into the parking lot at St. Agnes Hospital and spent the most tiring, amazing, joyful, tearful hours of our lives together. When we left, there were three of us. To quote Ray Kinsella, "He smelled funny but we liked him anyway."

These days, James is growing by leaps and bounds. This weekend we went back to Pump It Up for another birthday party.
The last time we went, all James did was throw plastic balls through a hole. No bouncing, no obstacle course, and the big slide was right out. This time he did it all. It took some convincing and a couple of bribes but we sailed down that big slide together and he u-turned right back up the stairs.

The kid absolutely cracks us up. His buddy, Benjamin, teaches him songs and new phrases every day at preschool and they never fail to make us laugh. His latest is the little dance he does to "I Like To Move It" from Madagascar. There's a lot of finger pointing and twisting around and it can go for a very long time. He did it in Blockbuster a couple of nights ago and Lisa reports that an older lady in the same aisle was reduced to tears.

James has been trying lately, as 5-year-olds are wont to do, to see how much he can get away with and whether we truly mean what we say. Sometimes that makes the days seem long, but when we look in on him before heading off to bed and see his perfect, quiet face it's all worthwhile. Saturday is our very first tee-ball game and we've talked a great deal about listening to the coach and trying your best. Not knowing how he'll do is just another wonderful side of being a dad.

On Saturday night, our Goddaughter, Hannah, was baptized by her father, Jim, one of my best friends. I watched her go under with James standing right in between us. I wondered (as I do every time I rinse his hair in the bathtub) what it will be like on that day when I get to take his confession and bury his old self with Christ. We want so much for him...to be healthy, to know God, to have a happy life. God blesses us through James every day. I couldn't be any prouder of him.

Happy birthday, bud.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Prayer-talking

If you were brought up in the Church of Christ in the late '60's and '70's, your earliest concepts of what Christianity actually was were probably very conservative and traditional. I was blessed with parents (especially a father) who didn't think things were quite so cut and dried. That helped...but there were still some things I accepted as rote.

Communion went before the sermon.

The older you were, the longer you prayed.

If you "went forward," something was terribly, terribly wrong.

The devil was in charge of television programming, which is why "The Six Million Dollar Man" was on Sunday nights and "The Bionic Woman" was on Wednesdays.

Potlucks were an act of worship.

The pathways of life were uneven.

You never, never, talked during a prayer.

There were more, of course, but I've been thinking about this last one recently. I remember the first time I was praying in a group and somebody actually spoke while another person was praying. I was with family in Riverside and my cousins, Tom and Linda, were interjecting the occasional "Yes, Lord" and "Thank you, Jesus" into a prayer. I was in my early teens and I remember opening one eye, slowly, barely a squint, to get a look at what was happening. There they were, heads bowed, seemingly praying right along. But talking! And they didn't stop!

As time went by, I met more people like this. I realized early on that they weren't interrupting at all, but actually joining in. They were praying themselves while I had mostly just been listening to prayers. It wasn't long until I attempted my first quiet "yes" during a prayer and I quite enjoyed it thank you very much. It's become a part of my corporate prayer life and I hardly notice it anymore.

I have known people, by the way, who seem to commandeer a prayer for their own purposes sometimes. The interjections are so loud and so plentiful that they are a distraction to all. This makes me want to say "Amen" and move on. Most folks though are quite sincere.

On Monday of this week, Lisa and I put James to bed and knelt by his bed to pray with him. He asked his mommy to pray so she did. She asked God to be with James while he slept and I heard a very soft "yessssssss" coming from him. I smiled wide as she went on. She asked for God's protection and thanked Him for our family and our friends and James whispered "yesssssss" each time. When she stopped praying, I knew why. As sweet as it was, it was cracking her up. Which cracked me up. Which, naturally, cracked James up. The prayer went on but now the "yesssssssss"es were louder and more deliberate. Lisa said her Amens and we all laughed together and hugged. I was afraid we'd started a new trend but it hasn't happened since. So far it was just one sweet moment.

My conference with the parents who are really, really mad at me is at 2:00 PST. Please pray for me and for them and for the administrators who have to decide what to do about everything. Maybe I'll hear your prayers and throw in a "yesssssss" at just the right time.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

And The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

I still can't share everything about the events of this week. But in order to appreciate the rest of this post, you need to know this: there's a parent who's mad at me. Really, really mad.

Yesterday I made 5 calls. 2 of them weren't home. 1 was disconnected. 1 wanted to know why I wasn't doing more to help her son. And the other one yelled. Just yelled. At one point, I actually put the phone down and answered some e-mail until I heard the yelling stop. She had been going at it for over two minutes straight. That's some serious yelling.

See, I had told her that her daughter was coming late to school every day. Her daughter had told her she didn't have to come until 8:00. I told her it was 7:45. That's when the yelling began. How dare I tell her to be there early when the other students don't have to be. She has to walk her sister to school in the morning. She won't be there until 8:00, if then!

I hung up during the second prolonged bout of yelling.

Maybe it's because I was brought up to be a rule-abider...which I am...for the most part...but I've never understood the attitude of "that doesn't apply to me." And I am getting just REAL tired of being the target of abuse.

A student told me yesterday that she didn't like me. I asked her if she liked her other teachers and she said, "No. I hate all of them." I told her that when one person has a problem with many people, the problem seldom lies with the many. She didn't get it.

Tomorrow I have a conference set up with the parent who is really, really mad at me. And I mean I have my own security detail assigned to me this week he's so mad. Next week I'll tell you what I did to make him so mad. And yes, I'll be bringing somebody with me to the meeting. A very large vice principal I know. In the meantime, pray for all these angry souls and especially for the children who are learning from them.

And pray that this week ends. Soon.

(Dave and Lori are still alive! This week's Amazing Race ended with a great big "To Be Continued." This week, my favorite nerds zip-lined over 300 feet of Brazilian jungle, dived into an Olympic swimming pool in the freezing cold (well, Lori did), and got lost in Moscow. Stay tuned.)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

What A Long, Strange Week It's Been

And it's only Wednesday morning.

I can't even write about everything that has gone on this week. As personal as we treat these blogs of ours, they are still part of the World Wide Web, the eternal ether, the invisible network connecting all humankind. So until the whole thing blows over just trust me when I say I can't go public about it, I will when I can, and it's been a long, long week already.

On to things I can talk about.

The weekend with James was fantastic. He woke me up nice and early on Saturday morning

~~~Ugh. As we blog along together, you will learn that I am not an early riser by nature. I'm up at 6:00 on weekdays and I like to get to church early on Sundays to talk and pray with the speakers so Saturday is precious sleeping time. It is given up seldom and reluctantly, although with teeball starting in a few weeks I will probably be less reluctant to sacrifice my day of rest.~~~

and we watched some cartoons together. Through the miracle of DVR, I've been recording some things that I enjoy watching with James...Justice League, Teen Titans, that sort of thing. After breakfast, we played Star Wars.

THE RULES TO STAR WARS:

1. Set up iPod. Play mix of random Star Wars music. Loud.
2. Pour all action figures out of bag.
3. Take turns picking a hero/villain. James goes first.
4. Heroes do not have to go together, nor do villains. Some of the best matchups come from mixing the two. Who knew that Han Solo and Emperor Palpatine would both have it in for Mace Windhu???
5. The pick directly after the Millenium Falcon must be the TIE fighter. Obi-Wan's light saber goes with the Falcon as an extra power supply.
6. When the figures are divvied up, put one character in the middle to start the story. James goes first.
7. Take turns adding a character/ship to the story. The story can go anywhere you want, but it generally involves people having battles. When a character/ship dies, into the bag he goes.
8. James' characters win every battle unless Daddy says, "Hey, do I ever get to win one?"
9. Whoever gets rid of the other player's figures first wins.
10. This person is always James.

We also had some video games to play and some movies to watch. It was a cold, blustery weekend so the outdoor stuff was out from the getgo. But throw a pizza from Mother Mary's into all the playtime and it was a great day.

On Sunday, James got himself ready for church and we sat alone together on our pew. I had been priming him all week that I would have to get up and make an announcement. But I wasn't preaching and I would only be gone thiiiis long (thumb and forefinger held very close together). He did fine but when I sat back down he whispered...loudly..."Daddy. You were gone THIIIIIIS long!" (thumb and forefinger as far apart as they would go)

We were glad to see Lisa but had a very memorable time together.

Amazing Race note: I know it's Wednesday and you want to know if Dave and Lori are still in it. ME TOO! So don't tell me if you know...it's recorded and we'll watch tonight. For those of you who rely on me for all of your Nerd News, you'll find out tomorrow if they are alive and kicking.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Single Dad


Lisa left last night around 6:00 on a women's retreat and will be back Sunday night around 7:00. That makes it "Single Dad Weekend."

This morning I woke up with a cold foot on the small of my back. James doesn't share a bed with me when Lisa is gone. No, he woke up, crawled under the covers, and deliberately put his freezing cold foot right there. There is no question that this was premeditated. He was giggling uncontrollably when I awoke. Screaming.

There are worse ways to start your day then with a tickle fight. After we both fell out of bed, he dressed himself while I got ready for work. He got some breakfast and put his own lunch together before putting on his socks. There was just enough time for some slip-n-slide on the new wood floors before we piled in the Mustang and headed for school. For a kid 10 days shy of turning 5, he does pretty good. Don't worry, he put his shoes on before we left too.

The weather looks forboding this weekend...we had hail last night and there is a chance of, believe it or not, snow...but if we have any sunshine at all, we'll get out and play some catch and hit the ball off the tee. Otherwise we'll watch some vids, build some forts, play some Hot Wheels, and just hang out for the next couple of days. Doesn't sound all that bad, does it?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

'Roids and Ruth

Two reporters for the San Francisco Chronicle have a book coming out detailing the steroid use of Barry Bonds. Bonds has never been a popular guy, mostly because he's a jerk. He has even admitted using steroids, though he claims that he didn't know what they were. Apparently, like most highly-paid professional athletes, people who make their living based on their health, talent, and natural ability, Bonds is okay with just randomly shooting, ingesting, and/or rubbing unknown chemicals into his body.

Y'know, the Angels played the Giants in the World Series once.



The book claims that Bonds started using steroids in 1999 because he didn't think it was fair that Mark McGwire should get to pump up and break records. So he set out to do the same. In all fairness, Bonds did later break the single-season home run record and it does take more than drugs to be able to put a bat on a ball and make it go a long, long way. It should also be pointed out that steroids were not illegal in baseball when Bonds was using them. And, before anyone says that I should be using the word "allegedly" in many places here, I think we're all past that with Barry.

It all got me thinking about Babe Ruth. All baseball lovers (and even some non-baseball types) know that Ruth's career home run total was 714. That record stood until 1974 when Hank Aaron surpassed it. And yes, of course I was watching that game. What few people know is that the career home run record before Ruth was held by Roger Connor. His total? 138. Babe Ruth didn't just break a record. He changed the game.

Here are some other fun facts about the Babe. Skip this part if you are numbers/baseball challenged. Ruth's career on-base percentage was .472. That means he was on base almost half the time he was up. Ruth had 2217 career RBI's which also puts him in second place. And did you know that he pitched in 10 different seasons, including 3 seasons in which he was primarily a pitcher? Not bad either, since he ended his career with a 2.28 ERA and had 18, 23, and 24 wins in those 3 seasons.

End of numbers. Take a breath.

There are a lot more reasons why I consider Babe to be the best who ever played. But what would those numbers have looked like if he was juicing? He would have had over 1,000 home runs! Of course, he might also have gotten into more bar fights. The equivalent to today's drug scandal was, in Ruth's day, called "drinking heavily."

And now for something completely different....

Today marks the 4-month anniversary of the Crash. Our guy came by yesterday to finish the cabinet doors which, basically, would have finished the job. I was looking forward to blogging this morning about how everything was done.

But the doors didn't fit. And they have to make them again. And they said it would take a month.

So, the odyssey continues. Hey, maybe I should buy the cabinet guy some steroids.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Sinners, Pharisees, and Women

Stop! Don't read another word until or unless you have already read Mike Cope's last two blog entries.

First of all, I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday's migraine was the worst I've had in a while. I've had them in bunches lately. They tend to come during times of stress or during times when my eating schedule is off. There's something about the last few months that have been highly stressful and thrown off the eating routine a bit. Can't quite put my finger on it....



Oh. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm still catching up a bit, both in work and in blogland.

My class on Sunday was about Jesus' attitude towards sinners, Pharisees, and women. Here are a few thoughts:

Jesus not only spent a great deal of time with "sinners," but they actually seemed attracted to him. This is in diametric opposition to how the lost feel about the church. They wouldn't step foot into one of our buildings because A) they don't want to be judged...B) they don't see a reason...and C) they figure we'll probably make them feel worse than they already do. It's also interesting that when we think of "sinners" in this context, we usually think "other people." The world (the "normal people" as Leonard Sweet calls them) need to know that we understand that we are sinners too. They'd feel right at home among us. (Matt. 9: 9-13)

Too often, we think that Jesus' attitude towards Pharisees was always harsh and rebuking. But he talked to them, met them, ate with them. And again, before we classify Pharisees as "other people" we need to think about how Pharisaical we (I) can be. How often do we turn our noses up at what the church does without showing them the same grace we accuse them of withholding from others? Jesus said that those who have been forgiven much, love much. And those who have been forgiven little, love little. It's good to keep in mind how much we have been forgiven. Our love can only grow as a result. (Luke 7: 36-50)

This Sunday, we'll talk about Jesus' attitude towards women. In virtually every instance of contact with women, Jesus violated the social mores of his time. He touched them, ate with them, taught them. It's almost as though he thought they were equals with men. How much of our attitude towards women is a reflection of our interpretation of Paul's letters? Most of it? I want my attitude to follow from Jesus' example more than Paul's writing. (Luke 10: 38-42)

In other news....

Yesterday was miserable. Waking up with a migraine is the worst and when you talk for a living, it doesn't help. I had a sneezing fit during first period and I thought my head was going to explode. My kids were awesome; they could tell I was hurting pretty bad. But it was a full day of teaching. I actually tried to get a sub and go home, but it was going to take so long to get somebody here that it wouldn't have been worth it. Turns out that was a good thing, as my house was full of people lacquering cabinets anyway. Oy, the smell! (Yes, by the way, it will be four months tomorrow and still the work goes on. Soon though...very soon.)

When I finally got home, and did a few chores that needed doing, I plopped on the couch and checked the DVR to see what had recorded during the day. And there it was.

Baseball.

Blessed, glorious baseball. I watched two games: Dominican Republic vs. Venezuela and US vs. Mexico. Both games were very good but the DR/Venezuela game was amazing. What an all-star performance that was. Even you NON-baseball types should recognize some of these names. Venezuela started Johann Santana (the best pitcher in the game). When they had to pull him because of pitch count, they put in Carlos Zambrano. Yikes! On the offensive side they had Victor Martinez (the best catcher in the game), Miguel Cabrera, Bobby Abreu, Omar Vizquel and others.

And as good as they were, the Dominicans were better. The starter was Cy Young winner (and Angel) Bartolo Colon. Their infield consisted of Albert Pujols, Alfonso Soriano, Miguel Tejada, and Adrian Beltre. Oh, and David Ortiz was the DH. The game was close but the DR blew it open in the 9th on Ortiz's second homer of the game.

The US game was good too. We only scored two runs but held the Mexicans to four hits. If we win this thing, it will be because of our pitching...although Derrek Lee, Mark Texeiria, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Young, Chipper Jones, and Ken Griffey, Jr. are no slouches. Today the Rocket faces Canada.

Sheesh, this blog is getting long.

I can't quit without mentioning that my favorite nerds, Dave and Lori made it through another round of the Amazing Race. They came in fourth after Dave rapelled down a tall building and they worked together to turn sugar cane into ethanol. As Dave said, "I totally did this experiment in school!" Gotta love the nerds.

Sorry for the overflow. I'll try to be better about keeping up.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Out of the Loop

1. An incredibly busy weekend
2. An incredibly busy Monday
3. No internet (or phones) on Tuesday
4. A migraine like you would not believe

But I'll jump back in the loop soon. Promise.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Was That Over the Line?

My wit can be fairly caustic at times. When you work with teenagers every day, you find that the easiest way to make them laugh is often to tease mercilessly. I get to know them well enough that I know how far I can take it. Usually. But I am the first to admit that I will flirt with that line for the sake of a good laugh. Once or twice I'm sure I've crossed it. The crossing of the line is accompanied by an uncomfortable physical response. The mind races and replays the entire conversation. The pulse quickens and the palms begin an immediate, exaggerated perspiration. Eyes dart to catch facial expressions and lips move in an imperceptible prayer that people are laughing and not staring, aghast.

I have a foreign exchange student in my Calculus class named Tomasso. Great kid. Yesterday he came to class at the usual time, 12:15 PM. It went like this:

Me: Hey, Tomasso. How do you say "good afternoon" in Italian?

Tomasso: "Buon pomeriggio."

Me: Okay, thanks. Buon pomeriggio, Tomasso.

T: But we don't say that.

Me: Huh?

T: We don't say "buon pomeriggio."

Me: Oh. What do you say?

T: We would say "buon giorno."

Me: But that's "good morning."

T: Right.

Me: But it's not morning.

T: Yeah, but that's what we would say.

Me: Well, how long would you say "good morning?"

T: Until about 3:00.

Me: Then what would you say?

T: "Buona sera."

Me: But that's "good evening."

T: Right!

Me: But 3:00 isn't evening.

T: No, but that's what we would say.

Me: I think I know why you lost the war. You guys have no idea what time of day it is.

T: (laughs)

Me: Maybe if you knew what time of day it was you could plan, like, war strategies and stuff.

T: (keeps laughing)

Me: I'll bet if Mussolini had known what time of day it was he wouldn't have thought Hitler had such great ideas.

And here is where the mental switch was thrown. Pulse quickening, palms sweating, eyes darting...I dare a glance at Tomasso who is

T: (falling out of his chair, laughing) My parents have to meet you.

Me: (gulp) Why?

T: They would love you. They'll be here in a week. I'm going to bring them to class.

Yeah, so I dodged a bullet on that one. I know I've complained a lot this year to everyone who knows me about many of the kids in my classes. I want to go on the record as saying I have met some truly awesome people this year also. Sadly, as always, the great kids get overshadowed by the ones who demand all of your time. Today, I'm thankful for Tomasso and Frankie and KCee and Robert and Alyssa and all the others who have made this year bearable.

A final bit of dialogue from the end of class:

Me: Okay, the bell's about to ring. Tomasso, how do you say "goodbye" in Italian?

T: "Arrivederci."

Me: Oh. Yeah.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Nerd Love


The new season of The Amazing Race began last night and I have a clear favorite. It's David & Lori from Manhattan, Kansas...self-described nerds.

Nerd love is a wonderful thing. My own marriage is mixed--one nerd, one non-nerd--so I've never known the full glory of having your own nerdness reflected back at you. Oh, there have been moments. When Lisa was in the Geography Club at Fresno State and used to wear a t-shirt around with a...wait for it...map of the world on it. Or when we had waited for so long to see the Matrix sequels and then spent hours complaining together about how lousy they were. Or when she surprised me one night with the Princess Leia slave girl outfit. No. Wait. That was Ross and Rachel. Never mind.

Still. Good times. Good times.

I'm not going to fool myself though. I know that there is only one true nerd in our couple. It's the person who can identify which artist drew a comic book by looking at a single panel. It's the person who hums John Williams music when he showers. It's the person who skipped work to go to the employee's showing of Jedi in 1983 and then, when it was over, circled the theater to get in line for the first official showing of opening day. It's the person who likes to challenge himself to see how many seconds into an episode of Star Trek he can name the title ("OK, Spock's at his console at the science station, a redshirt enters from the lift, GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION! 5.3 seconds? Rats!")

So it is that I'm going to live vicariously through David and Lori, at least as long as they keep from being eliminated. And here's hoping that they really nerd it up. I want to see her call him Aragorn and him call her Arwen in a romantic French plaza. I want to see them engage in a fake light saber battle on a bridge in Moscow. I want to see them buy long trench coats and walk the streets of a rain-soaked street in Canada referring to themselves as Agent Mulder and Agent Scully. I want to see them whip fedoras out of their backpacks in Tuscany and proclaim themselves Tuscan Raiders.

Most of all, I want to see them win. Because you just know that if they get the million, David will drop to a knee, take Lori's hand in his and say, "Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as husband and wife." Ahhhh, nerd love.

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